Monday, June 11, 2007

The Secret to a Lasting Marriage: Embrace Imperfection

I really like this article...

When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast
food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in
particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage,
and extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to
see if anyone noticed! Yet, all my dad did was reached for his toast,
smiled at my mom, and asked me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember
watching him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom
apologize to my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what
he said: "Baby, I love burned toast."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if
he really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said,
"Debbie, your mommy put in a hard day at work today and she's real
tired. And besides, a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!"

In bed that night, I thought about that scene at dinner...and the
kindness my daddy showed my mom. To this day, it's a cherished memory
from my childhood that I'll never forget. And it's one that came to
mind just recently when Jack and I sat down to eat dinner.

I had arrived home usual...and decided we would have
breakfast food for dinner. Some things never change, I suppose!

To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed, and quickly began
to cook eggs, turkey sausage, and buttered toast. Thinking I had
things under control, I glanced through the mail for the day. It was
only a few minutes later that I remembered that I had forgotten to
take the toast out of the oven!

Now, had it been any other day -- and had we had more than two pieces
of bread in the entire house -- I would have started all over. But it
had been one of those days and I had just used up the last two pieces
of bread. So burnt toast it was!

As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a comment about
the toast. But all I got was a "Thank you!" I watched as he ate bite
by bite, all the time waiting for some comment about the toast. But
instead, all Jack said was, "Babe, this is great. Thanks for cooking
tonight. I know you had a hard day."

As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought about my
mom and burnt toast hadn't been a deal-breaker for them.
And I quietly thanked God for giving me a marriage where burnt toast
wasn't a deal-breaker either!

You know, life is full of imperfect things...and imperfect people. I'm
not the best housekeeper or cook. And you might be surprised to find
out that Jack isn't the perfect husband! He likes to play his music
too loud, he will always find a way to avoid yard work, and he watches
far too many sports. Believe it or not, watching "Golf Academy" is not
my idea of a great night at home!

But somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to accept the
imperfections in each other. Over time, we have stopped trying to make
each other in our own mold and have learned to celebrate our
You might say that we've learned to love each other for who we really

For example, I like to take my time, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm
even-tempered. I tend to work too much and sleep too little. Jack, on
the other hand, is disciplined, studious, an early riser, and is a
marketer's dream consumer. I count pennies and Jack could care less!
Where he is strong, I am weak, and vice versa.

And while you might say that Jack and I are opposites, we're also very
much alike. I can look at him and tell you what he's thinking. I can
predict his actions before he finalizes his plans. On the other hand,
he knows whether I'm troubled or not the moment I enter a room.

We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we are still
best friends. We've traveled through many valleys and enjoyed many
mountaintops. And yet, at the same time, Jack and I must work every
minute of every day to make this thing called "marriage" work!

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each
other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences -
is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing,
and lasting marriage relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the
good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at
the feet of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be
able to give you a marriage where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker!

Have a great day! May God bless your marriage.


rizza said...

eton..lawa la ko nye blog ni..

pinkytoe said...

Aku second Rizza!!
tapi put that aside, aku harap 1 day laki aku dapat la jadik cam jack dlm citer ni..huhuhu